Monday, March 16, 2015

"I read books, I should be smarter than this..."

So the other day I'm reading a book (I don't remember which) and I came across a sentence that said
something something something "scotch the rumor". And I was like, " that's a weird misprint. It's *squash* a rumor. Isn't it? Right?" And then I googled, and I am wrong. So my whole life I've been saying "squash a rumor".

This doesn't really surprise me because I have a history of making an idiot of myself in this way. I remember 2 occasions from when I was little. (Okay, to be honest, the second one was when I was probably about 13).

So there's a famous hymn (Let All Things Now Living) and there is a line that is : "His law he enforces, the stars in their courses, and sun in it's orbit obediently shines". So the problem is that I always sang it as "His law he enforces, the stars in their corsets, and sun in it's orbit obediently shines". What is funny is that my little child brain wasn't like : "so that's weird, what other word could it be?" But it's still one of my favorite hymns and even now when I sing it I picture little yellow cartoon stars in corsets with their insides all smushed.

Another instance was when people talked about "the pearly gates" I always thought that they were saying "curly gates". Like, super ornate curly topped wrought iron fences, because why wouldn't God want the fanciest gates he could have? That time I showed it to my mom, (it was in a book) and was like "what is that about?" and then we spent ten minutes saying "Wait, you thought it was curly?" and "Wait, why would they be pearly? What does that even mean? Shiny? Of course their shiny, it's HEAVEN". I think I'm right and the world is wrong on this one. The gates are both shiny and incredibly ornate.

Last one: this is from 2014. It's actually "cardsharp" but I always thought it was "cardshark". Doesn't shark make so much more sense? Like someone whose aggressive and menacing? This is another one that I think I'm right and the world is wrong.

Moral of the story: I always think I'm right until I'm proven wrong in print. Also, you can read lots of books and still be an idiot sometimes. Or at least have terrible hearing. Anyone else do this?


  1. I agree, many of your interpretations make more sense than the original! The stars in their corsets really made me laugh.

  2. Ahaha, thanks for sharing these stories, especially the one about the stars in corsets. That image is too cute. I still can't believe that 'melancholy' is pronounced with a -k- sound and not a -ch- sound (like in 'church')...

    1. Doesn't language just boggle your mind sometimes?

      What do you call a sad dog? A melan-collie! (Maybe that's why it has to make a "k" sound, so we can make third grade level jokes)


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